I often dream of a different life for myself. I love my little apartment here in Oslo, but it is a city and traffic noise and people noise are sometimes hard to handle. Like now – there is a motorcycle going backwards and forwards on the road outside at 2 am and I really should be sleeping.
Never mind what I can’t do physically any more. Much of my dream is a little house near the sea with a bit of land. A fence around it so I can have a dog or dogs again. I miss having a dog so incredibly badly. Maybe I could get well enough so that I could have a swim again. I used to be a competitive swimmer when I was a teenager, and I’ve always loved being in the water. A kitchen garden, some fruit trees and some berry bushes.
Sometimes I dream bigger than that, and think about self-sufficiency, having chickens and pigs and maybe some goats for milk so I could make cheese. I love goat cheese. Thing is, I know how much work all of this is. I grew up in the country, had an Icelandic horse for a while. Lots of dogs, and friends on farms so I’m not unrealistic on the workload. I can barely hang up my laundry these days, and I was pretty close to a fall in the bathroom after trying to put on my pyjamas standing up today.
On the plus side, I did manage to take a shower and make dinner today so I call this day a win. Apart for the not falling asleep when I should.